Past and Presents
by Carnivalgirl
Summary: AU. As she celebrates an important anniversary with Remus, Tonks decides she wants to show her husband that no matter how much her appearance may change from day to day, she - and her feelings - never will.


**A/N:** This is set in the same **Alternate Universe** as Angels and Their Guardians, in which Remus and Tonks survived the war and went on to have another child, Olivia, who is a Squib. Apart from that everything is pretty much the same. It was written for the R/T lj community metamorfic_moon's Midsummer Tales challenge, in which it came Runner-Up for Best AU, and the prompts were 'lawn games' and these lyrics from Mika:

_I could be brown, I could be blue  
I could be violet sky  
I could be hurtful, I could be purple  
I could be anything you like_ ~ Grace Kelly

It was also betaread by **KTtongueTied**, so a huge thank you to her, and to you for reading!

* * *

**Past and Presents**

It was Saturday, the tenth of July, and since she didn't have to work in the morning Tonks allowed herself to be woken up by the sun rather than by an alarm. The first thing she noticed when she opened her eyes was that the sun was dazzling even through the curtains, and the second thing she noticed was Remus sat next to her, wide awake with a tray of breakfast.

"Happy Anniversary," he said, warmly.

She gasped excitedly, though only took a glimpse at the cereal, croissants, tea and sunflowers before returning her gaze to his handsome face.

"You got up on a Saturday to do this?" she laughed. "Who are you and what have you done with my husband?"

"Tied him up and stuck him in the cellar. He said he'd sleep through it," Remus chuckled, before urging her to eat, which she did very eagerly after given him a kiss on the cheek as a thank you.

As she chewed on her croissant, which was filled with delicious blueberry jam, Tonks began to remember that morning years ago, when she had also woken up with the sun. She had been more than keen to get ready, and wolfed down her cereal and toast, much to her mother's surprise. _"On the morning of my wedding day I couldn't eat a thing! I was nauseous with nerves!" "Sure, Mum. Nerves." _She remembered going out the door in her white summer dress, seeing the blue sky above her and thinking that someone up there loved her and Remus and wanted them to be happy.

Well, that someone had taken their time. Even after the chaos of the war they sometimes seemed to be living in various kinds of muddle. They'd had moments of absolute bliss, absolute agony, and everything in between. But now, Tonks liked to think, they had finally found the muddle that fit.

Today was as lovely as the day it was celebrating, so, tempting as it was for Remus and Tonks to spend all day chatting in their pyjamas, they had plans to put into action. Eight individual bottles of Butterbeer and two large bottles of lemonade were chilled with a spell, and four deckchairs were taken out of the shed and placed in a line next to the flowerbeds, along with a big purple picnic blanket that was a little worn and stained with sun cream and spilt drinks. Most important to the ensemble however was their cricket equipment. It was a Muggle sport Kingsley had introduced them to when they went to stay at his summer house, knowing it was something their Squib daughter, Olivia, could play. And once Teddy had had the privilege of getting the Minister for Magic out, it was love. So it had become traditional for the Lupin family to play cricket in the summer, and that was what they would be doing today. By half past ten all the players were assembled and by quarter to eleven the game was in full swing.

Though she didn't appreciate the finer qualities of it the way Teddy did, Tonks definitely loved cricket. It felt so natural and fun to play a game without magic, because while they all admired a good hit or throw, it was enthusiasm, not physical strength, that mattered. She also loved the way it brought everyone together. Even the dog, Padfoot, was on the team as the fastest and most enthusiastic fielder. He was Victoire 'Thunderball' Weasley's only match and they both came back every year with a vengeance. Some things never changed; Teddy always got carried away with his 'Howzat's, Olivia still couldn't catch, Victoire never let her reputation as the wizarding world's fastest bowler down, and Tonks still screamed and cheered whether the batsman was on her team or not.

Some things, however, had changed, though not really for the worse. Remus was keeping track of the rules as he always did, but today he wasn't quite up to playing them at the same time. He watched from his deckchair with a Butterbeer in his hand, and Tonks felt a little guilty about enjoying herself so much without him even if he did get to admire her slim, mid-thirties body running around in white denim shorts.

What made this summer different from the others was that the children, Teddy, Olivia and Victoire, were not children any more; they were twenty-nine, twenty-six and twenty-seven respectively. Remus was in his late sixties, and Tonks was not, as her body would suggest, in her mid-thirties but in her mid-fifties. Today, she and Remus were celebrating their thirtieth wedding anniversary.

Still, while the effects of sixty years of transformations had lead Remus's Healer to forbid him vigorous activity, he wasn't the only one unable to play. Sat on his knee keeping him company was the newest member of the family, Teddy and Victoire's baby Jacques 'Jack' Lupin. Fleur had nicknamed him _le petit prince _after the French book character and to Remus and Tonks he might as well have been one, the way they doted on him. Tonks felt a huge swooping joy in her heart when, after she'd done quite an impressive number of runs, she turned to look at Remus and found he wasn't paying any attention to her but tickling Jack's round tummy. She stared at them for a moment, hoping to fix the image in her mind forever.

"Hello, Mum?" Teddy called, waving and laughing. "There's no need to keep watch, he's not going anywhere."

"I can't help it," Tonks replied dreamily. "I just love him so much." She herself didn't know which 'him' she meant.

Midday approached and everyone started to get a bit hot and tired in the blazing sun. Padfoot, sensing it was time for a break, bolted towards the door and barked loudly for someone to open it. Jack, who was quite a sensitive little boy, squealed and started to grizzle, and it seemed everyone in the garden immediately wanted to pick him up and soothe him. Tonks, being nearest, got to him first.

"Oh my little Jack-Jack!" she cooed, scooping him quickly into her arms, much to Remus's surprise. "Don't be frightened of Pads; he's a bit noisy and excited but he's very nice really."

Jack didn't really understand what his grandma was saying, but he was very happy to see her bright yellow hair, and he immediately grasped a strand of it, forgetting completely about the dog.

"Yellow's your favourite colour, isn't it?" she said. "Like bananas; I've got one for you in the kitchen..."

Remus cleared his throat. "Dora, I think maybe Teddy and Victoire would like a turn with him?"

Tonks's hair went a little pink at the roots. "Oh, yeah..."

After handing Jack over to Victoire, Tonks was about to offer Remus her arm to lean on, only to find that he was making his own way indoors, though limping slightly. She hurried towards him.

"Remus," she said, as casually as she could so not to injure his pride, "do you want a ha..."

Before she could finish her sentence, she stumbled on the tray of Butterbeers. Before she could fall flat on her face, Remus grabbed her arms and helped her back to her feet. She was so thrilled that she let herself sigh like the heroine of a fairy tale.

"He still catches her every time," she heard Teddy say to his wife and sister, who both looked on admiringly.

With the help of the youngsters, and her wand, Tonks brought out a fine feast of pasta salad, vegetable salad, cheese and biscuits, cold pizza, and a wide selection of cakes, biscuits, wafers and chocolates. There were some grapes, just so they could pretend they were healthy, and mashed banana for Jack. She invited everyone to sit down and the piles of food quickly began to shrink.

"Where's Remus?" Victoire asked casually, reaching for a mini flapjack.

Tonks felt alarmed, not only because she didn't know where Remus had disappeared to, but because she hadn't even noticed he was gone. Her imagination started to buzz in unpleasant directions.

"I'll go and check on him," she said, and she must have betrayed her feelings because Teddy immediately rolled his eyes.

"Mum, he's not geriatric. You don't need to worry about him having a fall or anything."

"I'm not worried!" she responded crossly, and helped herself to some more salad to suggest she had had no intention of getting up.

"He's actually very healthy for his age, considering everything. His knee injury has healed magnificently," Olivia, who was a doctor now in the Muggle world, added.

"I _know _your father is not an old man, thank you! Better than anyone ..." Tonks defended, feeling a little bit embarrassed and annoyed by the whole conversation. Her Remus was not an old man and he was not inadequate, and given how angry it made her when people implied that (which they did more and more these days) it was especially irritating that her children thought she was doing the same.

"Jeez, you guys!" Victoire interrupted, laughing nervously at the sudden tension. "Can't you tell he's gone to get the presents?"

She was right of course; Remus shortly appeared in the doorway with his arms full of cards and presents from friends and family. They received luxury chocolates, an album of love songs, a new set of crystal goblets (which automatically brought up some jokes at Tonks's expense), and some lovely new monogrammed bathrobes. Bill and Fleur had given them a vintage champagne from - of course - 1997, and Teddy and Victoire had collaborated with Olivia and her fiancé, Simon, to buy them a very fine mother-of-pearl jewellery box with "Remus and Dora" engraved on the lid, which was so beautiful it almost made Tonks cry. Surprisingly, there was not a gift from Andromeda amongst them, only a card. Though arthritis had reduced her handwriting to wobbly block capitals, her message was from the heart: _To a wonderful daughter and son-in-law, Happy anniversary. Have a perfect day. Hope you have thirty more years of happiness, love from Mum. PS, Present coming later._

"If you don't mind, Dora," Remus had said to her as they snuggled up with the tub of chocolate rolls between them, "I'll give you your present later as well."

"That's fine," she said. "It'll give me something to look forward to for the next few hours..."

Though she had had the morning off, Tonks's otherwise perfect day was being horribly marred by a meeting for senior Aurors at the Ministry this afternoon. It ought to have been OK as nearly everyone there was her friend, but since the Order of the Phoenix days she had had a severe distaste for any meeting which didn't have Remus in it. To make matters worse new regulations required them all to look "formal" and "well presented", and that meant having hair that was not only styled neatly but also of an actual natural colour. It was with a huge amount of reluctance that she lifted herself from Remus's arms and dragged herself to her room to change into smart robes, though she decided to at least stay slightly true to herself and chose a gorgeous shade of dark brown for her hair. But it didn't seem quite so gorgeous when it was held back with a clip for practicality, and she went downstairs to say goodbye to the family she could see their good mood had faded along with hers. Little Jack looked especially confused and troubled as to why this dark-haired, boring-looking lady had grabbed him for a kiss and a cuddle. She hugged his parents and Olivia telling them she'd see them soon.

Then she saw Remus, stood way back in the kitchen with the washing up, looking so lovely in the sun that for a moment she didn't want to just kiss him goodbye, she wanted to wrap her arms around him in a passionate kiss and disappear with him to some sunlit forest or cold, windy mountain. But this was not a romance novel, this was their normal old life, and "it was my anniversary and my husband was too damn sexy" was never going to be an acceptable excuse for running out last minute on an Auror meeting. So she blew him a kiss, hoping he could pick up some of her regret. Instead he blew a kiss back and sent a few bubbles from his wand in her direction, so that she could walk out the door with at least the slightest smidgen of good feeling.

As a young Auror, Tonks had imagined that when you got to middle-age, like Dawlish, things like meetings and paperwork suddenly became interested and seemed to have a lot of point. However, after two years of coming to these meetings, she had come to the conclusion that the only good things were the sandwiches and Harry Potter's hilarious slicked-back hair. He and Ron grinned widely when they saw her, and they both wished her a happy anniversary. She knew they had remembered because they sent presents, but she couldn't get enough of those two words.

"Doing anything special tonight?" Harry asked.

"No, we're just having a cosy night in. We decided we didn't want a party."

"Really?" Ron sounded surprised. "That's a bit of a shame; you only get one thirtieth wedding anniversary."

Tonks wasn't sure how to respond to this. "Well...we're going out for dinner next week, to meet Simon's parents. You know, Olivia's fiancé. It's quite funny, because they're Muggles we're not allowed to tell them we're wizards, so we've got these amazing cover stories..."

Although she was cheered up by the opportunity to talk about her fabricated Muggle past (she had joined the police force immediately after getting her degree in Criminology, but had met her husband through charity work and a mutual friend) she couldn't help thinking about what Ron had said throughout the meeting. Were she and Remus staying in because that was what they really wanted, or because they were bored and couldn't think of anything else to do? Other couples went off on expensive holidays or to fancy restaurants for their anniversaries, didn't she and Remus deserve the same after everything they'd been through together.

However, she thought of the croissants, and the catching, and the bubbles, and she knew, as she always had known, that there was still something there between her and Remus and there always would be. She didn't need a trip to Paris or a lobster and champagne dinner to tell her that. _But_, she thought, _how do I tell _him_?_

She looked down at her hands. She had left her striped nail polish on...oops. Amazingly enough, nobody had mentioned it. _Maybe they've figured out that that's just me, _she thought cheerfully. _I change all the time, but never completely! _Then, suddenly, she had the idea.

She had more than one surprise waiting for her when she walked through the door that evening. She had had to squeeze through because the door wouldn't open, and though she was irritated by the scratch she got from its metal edge, this feeling was swiftly forgotten when she saw that the blockage was a six-foot, three-inch tall antique harp with an exquisitely carved wooden frame. It was a treasure of her mother's; Tonks hadn't seen it for about forty years. Apparently now was the time to have it. Andromeda had also had all the strings replaced with modern ones, so there was no excuse for her daughter not to learn to play, even if her hand-eye co-ordination was hopeless.

"Remus!" Tonks called out excitedly. "We have a new harp! I have no idea where we're going to put it, but still, a new harp!"

"It's a pretty old harp actually. Eighteenth century, the letter said." Remus's voice came from the living room. "Not a bad anniversary present, eh?"

She came in to find him stretched out on the sofa, looking very comfortable indeed with a book on Oxford in his hands. She chuckled when she saw it.

"You're putting way too much effort into this Muggle thing. Simon's father isn't really going to ask us about our university days."

Remus responded by holding up the book. "See this? This is Christ Church. My alma mater! Oh, I do remember the nights in the...er...library..."

"Christ Church? Is that the college where all the posh boys go? Oh no, wait...that's all of them!"

He swung the book at her playfully. "You're just jealous because you want to some second-rate university in the middle of nowhere."

"London is the middle of nowhere, is it? I'd never have guessed!" she retorted, swiping back. "Now, Mr Let's-Pretend-I'm-An-Oxford-Alumnus, would you condescend to make me a cup of tea, please?"

Their third meal was Tonks's favourite, Lancashire hotpot, followed by Remus's amazing chocolate cake, which he had made for her a few times over the years. What was an even sweeter after, however, was the present he gave her. He had gift-wrapped it with paper he made himself, just as she used to get the children to do, and she opened it to find a deceptively simple scrapbook. However, when she opened the book and saw the faces of not only her and Remus but Sirius and Buckbeak smiling back at her, she immediately realised that she had a treasure even more precious than the champagne, the mother-of-pearl jewellery box or the antique harp.

The first photo was the first they had ever had together, and she had seemed more pally with Buckbeak than him, but by the third their picture-selves were stealing flirty looks over Mad-Eye's shoulder. Her hair was blonde and curly. There was unfortunately one photo from their engagement, which was of her upside down on the sofa like a little kid, and her hair was bright green, and there were only a couple from the time of the war, including one which took her breath away of them at the Burrow at Christmas, when she had turned her hair blue to match the maternity dress Remus had scrimped and saved to buy her.

Remus had essentially given her a timeline of their marriage, and though with every photo he got a little grey, and in some places a little gaunter or more stooped, she saw the same gorgeous eyes and the same slightly crooked, adorable smile. But at times, the woman in the photos seemed to be a different one every time. She had hair and eyes of every colour of the rainbow. She went from old to young, short to tall, cute to sophisticated. The nearest she had ever come to looking like her real self was on the day of her wedding, when she had kept her natural brown but, instead of wearing it limp like during the dark days of Remus's mission with Greyback, she had it long, thick and shining like her mum's hair on her wedding to her dad.

It seemed natural to her that the photo album would end with her favourite recent photo, which was her and Remus in the hospital with Jack the day he was born. But to her surprise, there was only a blank space. It didn't matter. She loved that little scrapbook so much she wanted to kiss it, but she settled for giving Remus a kiss on the lips instead. He was certainly a lot softer, and a lot more responsive. However, she had her own gift to give.

The events of the day had had a strange effect on her; physically, with all her Metamorphosing, but also mentally. Though the comments of others had implied her husband was a little inadequate, she had begun to feel that that word applied more to her. It was then that her idea had occurred to her, and, levitating an old suitcase from her wardrobe, she got ready to put it into action.

Remus had just picked up his book again when he thought he heard music coming from the hall where the harp was. It seemed far too good for a first try, especially for someone which such poor hand-eye coordination, but then, Dora was always full of hidden talents. He slowly made his way towards it, only to find it had been charmed. When he looked up the stairs to spot the origin of the sound, he saw a ravishing sight.

It was Dora, almost exactly as she had been on their wedding day. She had her hair and make-up in the same style, she wore the same dress (and it was still flattering) and most importantly, her face was still glowing like there was no tomorrow. But once again, some things had changed, and not really for the worse. Her hair was shorter, and it had some streaks of grey. She was a little pudgier, and there were lines in her face. Her cheeks were no longer quite so round and her teeth were not as white. But in Remus's eyes, she was perfect.

His reaction could not have been more ideal. While she looked older, he, in his burst of happiness, looked younger, and she could have sworn that she saw the exact face of her groom thirty years ago, if only for a split second. She hurried down the stairs and, forgetting that he was sixty-seven years old and a werewolf, threw herself into his arms.

"I decided a long time ago that I wanted to give you the woman you married," she said. "But today I changed my mind, I'm giving you the woman you're married to. Is she still acceptable?"

He kissed her firmly on the forehead. "She is more than acceptable. She is incredible, she always has been, and she always will be. To this day I feel ridiculously lucky to have her, and for that reason, amongst many others, I will never, ever stop loving her."

Tonks had been on the verge of tears on several occassions today, and now they finally spilt. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and his slipped around her waist, and they shared a kiss as passionate as any they had shared on their wedding night.

"I love you so much," she told him. "I...don't know how else to say it. I just _love you_."

"That's more than enough."

She took another loving look at him. "I also got you some new dress robes. Just in case you wanted a tangible gift as well."

He squeezed her a little more tightly. "I'll try them on immediately! And then...we'll take another photo."

* * *

**A/N:** If any readers of 'Blood on the Moon' are wondering if Jack is a spoiler, since this is AU and 'Blood on the Moon' is canon-verse, he sadly is not. He was fun to write though, so I might use him again one day. Also, in the unlikely event of offense at Tonks's dig at Oxford, I promise it was an affectionate one, on my part and hers.


End file.
